It is a new day, its a new dawn, and as the day subtract itself and the darkness falls upon us. I think back, one year, twelve months, but it has not been delightful I tell you.
More thoughts and misunderstandings has been too much of an reality this year, I feel as I want to drown myself and learn how to breath all over again. I am filled up with depression, sadness, loneliness, and a heart that can love in all eternity. Where did my right go left and why is this happening now?
The answers are not here yet, but I will not rush things and end up in the loop. I will face all the demons, even if they end up breaking me bits into pieces it is okay. Because I know deep down in my soul that it has to be alright, I have to do this or I will be back in the same little paperbox that I was found in 29 years ago.
Not letting people in my whole life has been a huge mistake, it has not helped me at all, nor has it made me stronger. The feeling of hopelessness, being unwanted and not belonging anywhere is frustrating to the extent of the universe..
I have several episodes of mania during the week, and the depression is almost unbearable. In one episode I took five Valium and it did not help me at all. My doctor says it will be better when I eventually get the right medicine. I also believe so, it will be different! But what is up with all these rights that goes wrong?
I hope that 2013 brings something new, what can go wrong that has not gone wrong yet?! Leaving it all up to the stars above, the beat that always beats and the deep sound of life summening by…