Writing takes my minds of things, the unnecessary bullshit throughout the days. A friend told me that I come out as my days are all bad. I know it is a lot to demand, that someone who doesn’t have this illness will understand. But this is my insides, my thoughts, my “others” realities. This is where my mind goes and stays for hours at the time. I can sit here smile and pretend, but deep inside I am watching myself sitting there pretending that everything is alright…
How did this happened? I’m sorry if you got me wrong, but if you do, you know how I feel all the time.. So it is a kind of relate-feeling to show you some of our worlds. We live every moment like this when not on the right medication. My life feels empty.. I will add a page with a document for you to read, but it’s in Norwegian, it’s about Bipolar Disorder. For you whom will read this, please advice it during your life and think about us as equals, not crazies nor sick, but good people who struggle every day with everything.
I made this decision to take you with me along this journey and I am keeping my promise. Hoping this will end up in something someday. Sharing my world with you, helps me keeping myself anchored to the ground, and not flying away with the Phoenix Kite. I am more of a thinker and an introverted soul than you think. Most of you tell me I am outgoing and not shy, but I am the opposite of what you think. You just don’t see the real me, the one underneath the layers of cotton, the one in bare naked skin all alone in the darkness. You just see the projections of me, that I allow you too see. So stay here with me, and see how my world unfolds in front of me, as the red carpet of life.