Strange relationship, became more and more unknown. I don’t know how to act around people anymore. Maybe this is the medicine doing it’s work. But it doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right anymore. When will this feeling go away?
Rocking the boat as my life unfolds, there is no end to this reality, experiencing everything as a dream. Don’t know if it is real or not. No knowing if I am me or just a ghost in the darkness. The sun has come out, but it doesn’t seem to help as it has before. My brain is in rapid-cycling and I can’t speak. My words always comes out wrong, and now the light is gone. Lost as a child, when reaching out in the darkness and theres no one to catch you. The never ending story about the search, the search for someone to me patience enough to try to understand. Understand and see that all I want for everybody is to be the best they can be. Yes, I have a hard time with letting people go, but this is because I don’t understand why. My loneliness surrounds me and the panic-attack takes over. Breathing is hard, my head hurts, body aches, its all black.
I don’t like it when the one person that was so important, suddenly is a memory – tho memories are good and I cherish them. It makes me sad to see people go…