My life is not as I wished for these days, but I am on my way to recovery and there is only positivity in the future… I have been through enough roller-coasters now and would be pleased and happy to just be for a while. Tomorrow is the big day, going away to this place, Lovisenberg DPS, hope this facility helps me and do the right things for me. I feel as my world is falling down around me. There is no pause button, it all just happens at once. Why is it so in the life of a struggler, is it not enough to try just to live this life?
And where did you go? You left my side and changed it with this childish being. So I feel small and insufficient. I am deep in love with the feeling of love, the light is the best as you can feel it cover you as a blanket. You need to be more selfish, stand on your own two feet again, as I have in some way deliberately leaned on others. I help other people that I care about instead of helping myself, and in the end this is not good for me, but my Bipolar side loves it. It is like playing a part or a character if you will. I am a little nervous about tomorrow and the days to come, but I have an open mind and hope they will be right for me. Leaving my life behind is hard, as I feel that I am losing people, but this will show me my true friends. I do not need a lot of people, I just need the ones that truly cares for me and will be here no matter what. I feel like hiding, but who will seek if no one knows?
I do not feel as me anymore, it is like this shell that breaks. You know the eggshell is hard, but if you drop it it will break… So with this: