Just another “Holy” day…

New day and new medicines, on Tuesday I started on Lithium 42 mg. This is a pill that I have to take every 12th hour and it is one of the medicines that truly work if you are Bipolar. My experience with this is all good, as far as it goes for now. I know I am on the right path, because I feel something shifting and my rabbits and cats are almost gone. I am being discharged on the 23th of May and I have to admit that the “real” life scares me a little. 

don't depend

Here at Lovisenberg I feel and know now what others have told me, as I know that some of you read this I hope you do not take this as criticism, but see it as my experience and feelings about this place and treatment. There is a lot of rules and regulations here, and some of them should be more clear. Not that this is wrong, but we do and think differently from you “normal” people. In our little world, there is no rules about how we can dress or if we can walk around barefoot. I know it is because of hygiene and so on, but the brain does not always remember. Nevertheless you have to follow a system, answer questions, take responsibility for your own actions and life criteria. The time here is not the same as it is on the outside, here we are hidden and protected from almost everything. It is a “safe” place, but still it is not. As the day slowly sneaks up on me I experience that my restlessness is real and I am really stressed out about my future. What does it holds? 

But I am here now and I will keep on fighting until there is nothing left… But I feel empty and alone at the moment, so I wonder when this feeling will go away…