Am I suppose to do something special, like helping people. Inside there’s something pushing, my loneliness feels so real and unbearable. And I’m trying so hard not to break down. It’s taking all my energy and I feel left alone in the darkness, where I can’t talk with anyone because I feel that I’m too much..
I’m wondering if I’m the only one thinking about this? I feel lost, like there’s no red thin line to follow anymore. If I had a superpower I wish it to be telepathy, so I would know what you think of me. And I would’ve handled it like a master, not caring, but only follow the statistics. I’ve been watching Heroes again and then I daydream myself inside the tv, so my life doesn’t feel that meaningless and unworthy.
Ok so it’s hard to live with someone like me, bipolar, but it’s even harder being me every day. But I’m thankful for the ones of you that do and try to understand. I know it’s hard, but just bear. Lately I’ve been feeling like I can’t or even don’t know how to be me anymore. I feel trapped and lost… My meds are working in some way-ish, but I don’t feel “normal”. I just feel like yesterday’s left over. Whatever I do or don’t do I’m hoping is temporarily so I’ll come back someday in the future..