Hazy days…


As this day comes crawling up on me every year, I reminisce and think about that day five years ago where you left us. Dad, you were taken from us by the hands of cancer and you are missed every day, every year! For your honour and to remember you I took an anchor on my left arm. I wish for you to be alive, but there aren’t anyone listening… But you are always in my heart, now and forever ❤ I miss you!

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I’ve been off lately, not even close to myself, but I keep on trying. Smiling, being the bigger person, but this life is hard. Sometimes it all feels unforgiven and false. Pretending that everything is ok and good. There are still this huge empty space in my life and as my hypomania comes sneaking I can’t help but falling into its hands. My doctor put me on Orfiril Retard 3x300mg and Catapresan 2x25mikrog x3. We’re discontinuing the Lithium, it might not work properly on me, because I’m not better I’m worse. But I pull myself together and play this character that I think is “normal”, but then again I see myself hovering above everything… And that’s not normal… For as now all my days blend into one mix, where I rarely can distinct the different days. But hey, is it really that important? Because of different aspects in my life I’m still learning how to cope with my illnesses. I guess for some of you there’s lines, but here in my world I only have one, in the middle and there are only two sides. It’s hard to wrap my head around not being black & white.

IMG_6010 And I miss a person, to keep close and hold when the shit hits the fan!

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