When everybody smiles


It’s the 23 of December, the day before Christmas Eve. I woke up here in Tønsberg, celebrating this holiday with my family here. At my moms there are TV Channels and newspapers, so I read myself up to date on events and people. I read this article on Facebook, written by a person in Bergen. Who is lonely, poor and excluded from society. Here is a link to the article, it’s in Norwegian; A living death. Maybe there are some kind souls out there who can give this person a hand?

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This is so sad, I wish that you will get some friends and that 2014 will give you your spark back! Keep fighting, there are many people here who support and try to help. Hoping this will continue after Christmas. Because the problem here in Norway is that people pretend to care, just because it’s a holiday and when the everyday comes back they all crawl back into to their safe cave… I wish for people who care, help, give and receive. People who will love unconditionally, not because I am perfect, but because of all my flaws, craziness and unstable mood. I feel lonely because I feel like no one understand me, I feel lost inside my own head and my mental health is still unstable.

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I don’t know how to be me anymore, I feel so empty inside and at the same time I feel like I have nothing to give to my friends and family. I always dread social events with more than one or two persons… So I try to even it out with wine, I also have been taking Valium because of all the stress and manic episodes that people create around me. Just stay away please, I’m struggling so hard with trying to live this life with my diagnoses and meds. Trying to figure out what others think and say behind my back… So for 2014 I have to lean back and be an observer… I’m not comfortable with it, because I feel like I drag and that I bore people with my apperance. Some of you “normal” people should really try to walk a mile in another person shoes. Try to see the person behind the stone mask and get us to open up just a small crack, so you can get inside and help the heart and soul to heal. As for us Bipolar and Borderline people we are honest, direct and mysterious. So don’t hesitate to ask or contact us. Because inside there is the heart that loves unconditionally no matter who or where you are from. And at the same time we are easy to use because of our naive, gullible and open personalities. I open my arms for people I should not and get burned every time, so I will stop this now! To all of you users that believe you get things for free, karma will come and bite your butts!

I’m starting to see who my real friends are…

XxX

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