I’m at the end of my adventures for now and i’m a little sad about it… Wishing I had more time to spend with the wonderful people I met here! Not having to go to Norway and the square life that everybody think is life. Of course there are things and people in Norway that makes it worth being there from time to time, but I would rather visiting than be living there. The nature, rules and regulations from everybody around me makes me feel so small and bad. I feel guilty for having these diagnoses and being reminded of it every day all day is neither a likeable situation.
I just want to be able to live and be happy. Having people in my life that I can trust and I know have my back. There are so many people here in this world that only care about the number and having the best of everything. I’m not one of them, I just want someone real who actually cares and will tell me “I love you” and mean it. The one that push me so I get the most and best out of me as well for my dreams and hope. The love I feel for the people in my life is so strong that I get exhausted and feel empty inside. Its like carrying around their souls and life. That I’m responsible for everything, I feel bad when I’m not where I supposed to be, but sometimes there are actually real reasons why I’m not. Lately I have started to see and marked me what people do and don’t do, how they act and what they say. It’s so easy to say something, but to keep your word isn’t always easy. The life shouldn’t have to be filled with lies and sugarcoated truth. Its better to be real and honest, than fake.
But suddenly you meet a person that changes everything in you, the one that makes it easier to see where others fail or what kind of person they were. No one is perfect, but be good and smile to the people around you. Someone you will miss, even when you are with someone else. In my life I have good friends that understand, someone try and there’s a few that mostly think about themselves. But there are the ones that leave a print in my heart and you are always with me like the blood in my veins. Like Suzanne, that I met on this trip, a wonderful and goodhearted soul. I know our friendship will last and that we will see each other again.
I have this dream about doing something, leaving a print of my own behind. Like the ink on my body that my mom don’t like. A story that will help someone to get by, maybe even to enlightened their minds. So they’ll be open to the magic that surrounds us. I want to remove the stigma and taboo on mental illness and show the world that tattoos dosen’t make you any different. The goodness in people lays in their heart, eyes, smile and soul. I had enough people telling me what I cannot do, so now I’m taking back the control of my life, happiness and soul. As exhausting as this feels, no matter how hard it is or how much I have to fight. I will one day have it all and at the same time being able to say; ‘It’s Ok now’.
Goodnight my lovely readers!