The sun hits the Face

Life has a really weird way of turning around… I have to pinch myself so I’m sure it’s not all a dream. But when someone knocks on your door and ask you to come out and play, you go! Don’t hesitate or let people make your world smaller than it should be. Whenever something good comes knocking at my door, I open the door with a huge smile from ear to ear and let it all go down. I think by now, you know that I do a lot of things by impulse and rarely think before I act. In my life this has worked out both positively and badly for me. But the best thing with having a bipolar mind is the black and white sides, so when people do me wrong I delete, go on and never look back. Of course I’m sad about it, but I have to try not bringing all the negativity with me anymore. That is not healthy or good for me and my personas.


Like everything else I’m also a true romantic, believe in love and hope for the “knight in shiny armour”! And there is someone who will fit this description in my life. Rocking it and getting it all done together is easy when you are working together. Never would I know that halfway around the world is where my heart is. So I met someone special in Thailand, not only just one person, but a handful of good people that stay in my heart forever and ever. Like the man overseas, who knows the worth of good people and manors like a knight. Opening doors, car doors, pull out chairs, let me go in first, treats me like a princess. I’m comfortable, relaxed, can sing out loud, even be silly and more like me, not afraid of saying the wrong things or doing stupid stuff. Laughing is a huge part of life, like smiling and just letting people you care about know it. I know there are friends of mine that doubt and question, but be a little honest and open your minds to a new and a little bit improved me because of being on meds. I’m a little sad I lost all my magic powers, but there are good things like seeing things much more clearly than I did before.

Like the nightmares I have had for a long time is as real as the day is long and the night is black. There are so many scenarios in my life that I wonder about. Did this happen or was it all a dream. Bad experience is not an unknown daily experience for me, but after removing and deleting people whom negatively impact my life it has slowly starting to get more like my dreams. I’m slowly learning how to take back control over me and my life. The people who told me how to be, talk, walk, dress, chew and so on are not a part of my life anymore. It is not always easy to recognize the voices in my head from the monsters next to me. But this man in my life now, he is different and I’m loving the way we are together. Like he treats me good, give me compliments, ensures me that I’m a good seed and most important there is no abuse or need for lies! We are just agreeing on how things are supposed to be, so there are no questions in my head and no need for worrying about whats going on behind my back. And for living 7208 km from each other it is all news to me, but as I get older my mind set is also changing. So the distance is not a problem for me? Amazing news, I can almost not believe it! Let the love shine through and be real!