I went to Thailand and it really changed my life to something better. Closer to my dream, actually it all seems like it is a part of an amazing dream reality that I wish never will end. The distance makes it what it is and I miss you a lot! There are days where my heart beats so fast that it almost ends up in panic attacks. Then there is my stomach, it tells me to go all in! Do this with all that you got, don’t let the others bring you down! My other personas doesn’t always allow me to feel for another person, also falling in love is hard for me. Therefor it is very important to follow your heart at all times, you never know what you can end up with. Just by following your heart, your life will get more meaning while as for happiness.
Missing another human being is like an empty black hole in my stomach, I just want you to be here or me there. Simple things is enough, the small stuff, walking, talking, looking, eating, cuddling and so on… The sure thing is that this gives my depression a kick in the ass! Boosting my manic state, I just want to fly over and stay there. All I need is love and affection, I don’t hope I sound to desperate. So wearing my heart outside my sleeve is more my style, so I’m gong with it and trying this new thing I like to call; sharing feeling is caring about people, because we are never promised tomorrow. Life is weird and strange, it has taken me a lot of different places and into a lot of peoples lives. The never ending question is how do they all do it? How can they go on everyday, with the same routine? Not raising our heads to look around, walking like zombies in our own little bobble?
My friends and family thinks I’m a little crazy, it’s ok tho, because I am. But yeah, I do things differently and follow my dreams. But what if I didn’t do all that, i would have missed out on so much! So many stories, experiences and different shit. But in the end it’s all me and I understand it a little more now, even if my friends and family doesn’t, it still doesn’t change anything. Oh, yeah I noticed that I soon have 5000 views here! Thank you and spread the word! Hoping there a some of you out there who get a better understanding about it all… I’m humbled!
If I haven’t mention it, they checking me for another diagnose, Dissociative Identity Disorder.. There are a lot of question about, if I’m cold, warm, don’t dress according to season and so on… It is exhausting! When will it all end? Is ending with more meds? I want something that brings me up and make me stay there! Where is that pill?