There’s a place inside every one of us, where we can get the answers we’re all seeking. How to use the secret! Because there are actually no limits for what you can achieve in life. Long distant relationship is something I thought I wouldn’t do, but when you meet a man who seems to be worth waiting for and have qualities that’s important to me, I follow my gut. There are so many thoughts and dreams going on. I love being in love and I am a true romantic by heart. Not that I’m the best at being romantic, but I appreciate the old school type. Being wowed and spoiled, with cuddling, kissing and canoodling. Life is lonely when I am depressed, I alienate myself in isolation and hide without the seeking. I pretend to be fine, trying to go out to air myself, shopping groceries and snacks. My mind is out of itself, like it has gone away on holiday to a world lost with no return.
I asked my psychiatrist to put me back on Cipralex before our time was over because I have been really depressed for a long time and nothing has gotten me out of the funk and out in the world. All I wanted was to be alone in my apartment and watch TV-shows on a loop. Not efficient for my brain or health. But now as the weeks passes and the mood has seem to peel of a few layers i’m feeling like there is so much more now. I have answers, questions, dreams, goals and a holiday with the best man to look forward too! So I’m optimistic now these days, it feels like finally the universe is on my side and listens to my inner voice. There is only so much I can do, But I am learning that that’s enough, I’m enough! I really have to decide to believe in this and in myself. Because there’s a voice inside my head telling me that I need to do that to get ahead. And now that I’m diagnosed, the next step is these group-courses for Bipolar and Dissociative Disorder so I’m just waiting. I still go to my psychologist and doctor once a month.
I’m suppose to do these exercises in the near future, just be in the moment and try to focus on one thing etc. But my mind just goes away into the voices and personalities. Like, how am I suppose to act, to say, where to look and so on. I look for the answer in my psychologist, even tho I know the answers aren’t there. But my brain! So for now I accepted that I have the voices, stress hands and legs, the high level of empathy and sympathy. There’s actually the only thing I feel is right, acknowledge and go with it. And its not bad either, I’m feeling that I have opened up a new chapter in my book and I’m thankful for you whom take timeouts during the day and read about me, an South Korean, adopted, living in Oslo, love with every inch of my being and are so happy for the people in my life! I have 6000 views, please spread the word and share my life! You make me a better me and let me be me, instead of trying to change me to something I’m not because you are unsure and small.
So you can probably say that I am bringing it back, by it, I mean me and by me I mean conquer the universe!