I don’t know if its that I turned myself around and decided to really follow The Secret and go for my dreams. When you decide to be happy, there is nothing that can stand in your way. Life just gives, every single element is on your side and smiles are all around. As I have grown, accepted, moved on, let go and focused on me and my dream it seems like the puzzle solves itself. Yes, I am on Cipralex (antidepressant) and it has once again helped me out of my funk and depression. I’m not saying this is the solution for everybody, but it has really worked for me. I haven’t been seponated from my other medicine, so the dosages every day are pretty big, Orfiril Retard 1500mg, Seroquel 700mg (+100mg if needed), Valium, Tolvon 30mg and the Cipralex 10mg. But I feel I’m in a good place. I’m out and socializing, meeting new people,walking, around and don’t have my suicidal thoughts. Nevertheless I feel like I have a future… And it has been a while since I have believed that.
I am still really stressed inside, but I think it is from living here in Norway, sorry to say, but I don’t feel like I belong here. It is something that is missing. It could be that I have fallen for a man from Vancouver, but it has been like this for a long time now. Probably all my life. Today my stomach is really painful, it is so bad that it hurts to sit. It could be pms, but I don’t recognize the pain at all. I have been out and social so that can also have an impact on my stress level. At the same time I have come to a place where I am satisfied with taking it one day at the time, trying not to compare myself to others, but be happy and believing that by paying it forward everything will fall into place.
My universe has aligned itself and good things are coming to me now. I’m sure I’m doing the right thing, writing and sharing everything wiith you. I’m opening up my soul to all my dreams, love and people. And you, my readers, I’m blessed and so humble that you are from all over the world! It makes my heart warm and filled with love for every single one of you. I appreciate and it also helps me on my way through it all! Remember you are amazing and beautiful, every single one of you! And if some of you are like I am, not seeing your face or seeing things that aren’t there in the mirror. You know how hard it is to believe in yourselves. But try to remember that you are not alone, talk about your problems with a friend, family, therapist, me or seek a community. There are so many people that need someone, we spend too much time worrying, being alone and shutting ourselves out. Because we are afraid of being judged, bullied or saying something wrong. Love the imperfect perfection!