So Halloween has been here and the dead got to come back for a day again. Even though this day is not celebrated here in Oslo/Norway in the same way as the other countries, we are getting better at it. There are parties, people dressing up, kids going out trick and treating. In the ancient days there was a huge celebration and they honoured the dead, as they should be. Their souls are walking around with us all the time, there is no escaping the spirit world. But on this days it is more likely that they will show themselves to you in human form it is believed. Life on earth is a human form, we are not spirits. In our pasts lives there were so much we had to go through so we could come to this earthly place.
I am here to go through suffering and use my pasts lives as a guidance for this. As I thought in my earlier years that I am here to help people, I am actually here to show everybody that there is a path through life, even if the suffering is eating you up and rotten your insides. Life is to be celebrated and lived. Making memories and spreading love, sharing, caring and not to hurt or brake others down. I know it can be hard from time to time to understand everything, I have days where I want to cut off my arms, just hurt myself because the feeling inside is not near as painful as the pain on the outside. My mental health is so unstable from time to time and I lose all control over myself and my thoughts. My life feels empty and all I want is to end it. But there is nothing good coming out of it and to be honest, I do not have the courage or strength to do it. My life is filled with both so much joy and darkness. I just wish that someone could understand my darkness and tell me that it will get better. I am struggling and fighting so much these days and cannot be bothered to do anything else than sleep and lay on my couch. I have taken my self harming out from the shadows and feeling weaker. Even though I am honest and open with my friends and family about my problems I still have huge problems and doubts in asking for help from others.
My life is a big question mark… And I really do not know where I can seek for answers. But I feel that there will come a change, answers, people, spirits and a love that can help me through all this and accept me for the person I truly am. Not wanting to change me, or trying me to be like him. There are so many people or to say it in another way few people that follows there true dream. The one that are true and really follow what their intuition tells them to do, the gut feeling as people call it nowadays. Are brave and should be noticed. They actually make this world a better place and gives us hope for the future. I hope that someday soon people will open up their real eyes and see the world for what it is, the people who plays a character their whole life just to hide their dark and evil side. It is so much more easy and better for your soul to stay true to yourselves and to everybody else, because then you don’t have to remember what you said! So I dare you my dear readers; Stay honest, true, real, loyal and yourself. See the change in your life and how far you can come with the love and light!