I spend so much time thinking at the moment and it seems like a neverending story. But some good has come out of it I recon. I have been thinking about family, how I have been raised, surroundings and why parents do and say what they do. I saw and heard that parents have a reason why they act like they do, likely yours were not the same as mine and so on. In all honesty, my parents did good in raising their three children. We are very different personas, so they had more than their hands full! My dad was a Captain on a boat bringing home the bacon, so he travelled four months out and four months being home, and my mom was a stay-at-home-mom and she was always there and did most of the shitty work by herself. She was there when we left for school and when we came back. We were not keychain-kids as a lot of kids are these days. Both because of divorce and bad economy. Not that we were super rich, but I cannot remember that I lacked anything.
There are a few rules for raising kids, its not easy and can go so wrong if you fall in the ditch or into the scream and tug war! I have to state that how I have been as a person and a kid has little to do with my parents. I think a lot of it is because of my past, how people have treated me and what I had to go through and see. I do remember from my childhood that I did never see my parents argue, nor cry (except for that time in the kitchen when my mom had found out she was pregnant with my little-brother who is nine year younger than me). They raised their voice, at me, when I rebelled, started fits, fights, arguments and were right down a little bastard!
For a long time I thought that they were “cold-people”, they were not the hugging, kissing, showing emotions or talk about feelings type of people thus I think I have found out why now! As a parent you have to stay strong for your kids, show no “weakness”, keep the house in order, do not lose your authority figure to your kids because then your house will be a living-hell at no time! Of course some of their behaviour was adopted from their parents, and so on. But I guess what I am trying to say; Mom and dad (if you hear this, because you died from cancer 6 years ago), YOU did a pretty good job with us! I was not a good seed, my siblings were better. I have always been proud of them all and hope that when it comes to it, someone will say the same of me. I was not raised in a “prison”, but some rules were there and I mostly broke them all! I am so sorry!
Just remember; As time ticks, your parents get older and we might do not even notice when it’s happening but suddenly they are senior citizens. So appreciate, take care, show love and spend time with your family, tell them you love them so no one doubts they are loved! Love is unconditionally, not demanding, does not have to be blood related and can heal everything when shared openly and honestly! So take care of the people you love in your life, no one knows how much time we have…
In the loving memory of my dad, 15.10.1946 – 01.10.2008 I miss you every day and you are always in my heart & soul!
Any Bryde – The child