I Don’t Believe In Promises 


I know I do not believe everything people say these days, do not believe when people tell us they promised you something anymore because they will always fuck it up and I am always left alone. I do not want this for someone else anymore more, there is nothing more to say I do not want to live anymore so this is not to say goodbye to you all I do not mean to hurt you I just sick of the feeling to be a burden for you anymore. Take control over your own life and do not think about me at all, I am fine where I am I found peace. Do not ever think about me please I am fine and I would never be happier than that I am right now. So find something in your life the worth your love, devotion and time. I wish for the small stuff. Find the person that loves you no matter what, the one that will be there for you and love you no matter what. I wish I could be the one but unfortunately, I am dead already inside. But on the other hand, I have a whole new me that has come out from the darkness.

 
I went through a lot in 2015, my body is slowly recovering. And at the same time, I got to know I have been getting the wrong medicine so I quit them. I will not lie, this feels like hell and heaven, but so much more. Some medicine almost paralyzed me and I felt like an empty shell walking alone. Now I see, again I have complete access to my brain and yes it is chaotic and making me very aware of my illnesses. I have been away, my brain and body have been elsewhere and everything around me has been really hard to deal with. But something has given me a new of seeing myself. I remember what made me try different medications and how I felt. Because now I am back here, enjoying it and at the same moment hating it. But this is my reality and I am happier here! Yet I am going to a clinic again, hoping for the right help. And my mask is off.

 
So here I am, still looking and searching. Will this game never end, is it an ongoing thing that I cannot shake off..? My feelings and my heart are lost, like a needle in the haystack. I feel overwhelmed by everything and all I want is to stay inside my apartment and wait. Wait for the next one to crush my heart, soul and bones. Shattered like a graveyard and a million  pieces of glass all over. I lost my heart along the way from there to here and now I am blinded and filled with tears every day and night.

Love,

Any Bryde

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11 thoughts on “I Don’t Believe In Promises 

  1. Any, it is Myra. Do you remember me? I’m not happy to hear this… You are in a bad place, but it will pass. It has before! Any, do you trust your doctor? I had to find the right one to help me get well-it is the most important thing and to pray! You have your whole life ahead of you! God made you. Has a plan for good for you! Get up, go find the good doctor! I am praying! You are going to make it!!!
    I love you!!! 😍🙏

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    • Hi Myra, of course I remember you 💜 I trust my doctor, but I’m going back in to the hospital to fix my medicine, bc I’ve been given the wrong ones and it has been so hard and exhausting for me. Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. You’re truly appreciated and I love you! Thank you for the positivity and 🙏😍

      Love

      Liked by 1 person

    • Any, so happy and relieved to hear you are going to hospital. I was hoping…but did not want to go there without your doctor saying so…good, good 👌! Please keep up the good work and know I love you and I am praying-you are a special, brave lady! 💖💖💃🏻💃🏻🕊🕊🕊😘

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    • Thank you Myra! You’re words are so kind and give me a sense of hope. I will try to have this all in my mind and believe in both you, my friends and family, and at last – try to believe in myself. You know how hard this is when our brain goes against us. Thank you Myra, you’re a special lady and warmhearted one! 💜🙏💖

      Love

      Liked by 1 person

    • I know! We are here to stand in the gap…! Just remember…you are you…you belong to God…say it to yourself…tell it to your brain…over and over…I am Any…I belong to God…say it out loud…over and over like a mantra!!! 💖😘❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

      Liked by 1 person

    • I will try to remember! And you are such a lovely person, you gave me a smile today and remember that. To me you are an important lady and I’m blessed to have you in my life 🙏💜🙏😘😘😘😘

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