What Happens When I Am Taking It Back


Now the table has turned, I am in control and I am slowly learning what is positive energy and negative energy. There are so many people who is only interested in one thing, themselves. There is no wrong in putting yourself first, but what about the other person? Is it something that is too selfish? Or is that a synonym for being like a fish, they do it all by themselves… Swim around int he big ocean. Of course there are fishes that travels in sheep herds. And the other ones like wolf’s, but still they travel in companionship. They have families, small packs of someone being on the same frequency. It is good to have people on the same level as you. Or at least that they understand you.

  

Me I am in an own world where the wonderland is becoming more and more real. It is like everything is flourishing, blossoming up and out. To an extend that is out of my reach. But I am hanging on, to the thread that takes me to this wonderful new place. Here the fall has come, faster than I knew, because of me being in a coma.The world of earth, people, animals and all the other living creatures here. Is a place where you follow this routine. I do not look upon it. Think it is a little or actually very boring. I find my self alone..again, know it is not me. But every thought and film in my head plays you on repeat. Where did you go? Am I so bad that you had to run away?

  

Is it my personalities that destroys me, I am sorry, but there are so many things in my head, maybe not “normal” like some of you, but still here. Living and breathing, so now I know I want to live, this life, with the fighting against the eternal light I won. So why not just try to recover myself to me again. My personas will always follow me, everywhere. But tha fact that I know this is in my head, it is ok with me. I look “normal” on the outside, from you whom do not have the trained eye. They see my manic state, my eager to run around and do something all the time. Nothing going fast enough! I bet there are many of you recognizing yourselves in this picture. I know so well I am not alone in this place. Having Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Disorder, Dissociative Personality Disorder, PTSD, Anxiety, Eating Disorder and still doing self-harming. It is a life that I now have chosen to accept. It is me, I cannot change these, but I can try to live along with them.

  

Of course I look different from some of you, I am not “normal” in any way, I see things, hear voices and a little crazy. Never underestimate yourself, even with a chronic disease. You will make it, just follow your heart and soul.

   

Love,

Any Bryde

I Have Been in And Out of Wonderland


When everything turns around on you and you suddenly get so sick that you do not even have the idea of being in a hospital it can be a really scary thing. But there are so many helpful health personals and friendly faces. The doctors made my life and my body free from all the diseases and infections. I had tremendous help and the staff did so much for me here at Diakonhjemmet. I was in a coma for two weeks, never been before and my body fought and got stuck with every needle you can think of. My small little me was filled with tubes and everything. While my family and boyfriend viditing me, but I was in a place far away from this reality…

you dont know

I’m so sorry for you who had to see me like this, but I can say that I better now. And my legs works again. Up and walking again, feeling almost “normal” now. But I would never hsve could done this without the help I have gotten here. I am eternely thankful and humbled over the work. One thing is sure and that is that you health personals should get higher saleries. But this is a country where life is not fair at all in this way. Where the majority og women appartently want to be artisits or authors, but there are not that many good writers. No effence, but i like non fiction… That is why I write about the serious stuff. So Yes I am awake and the time is 7am.. Been up since 5:30am, its the hospital… In the evening night time after my boyfriend leave there is not so much to do than to sleep… But I have been fighting and working for getting back up on my feet again. And here I am! Up and going.

train your mind

My life is changed, never been in a coma before, two weeks! And waking after being in a coma is not pleasant at all. Is confusing and scary. I really did get an awakinging after this experience. And being in a hospital for almost one month is a long time! Just for you my friends all over the world, do not think I am gone, I have been in a place where I would never wish my worst enemy have to go. So take care of yourselves and your health, do not go crazy like I did this time. I will write more about this, but right now I just don’t know what to write or remember, it’s time to take care of me and mine as you did for me!

me

And writitng in Norwegian is not even my style, the language lack some words, so it all seems more poor in my opinion. But to you whom write in Norwegian, good job, you found a voice within yourselves.

Love,

Any Bryde

Comments, Heads Ups and My Readers


I get so many comments, its unbelievable and I cannot understand that its my words. This makes me feel humble and at least have one thing that is only mine. Because the way we place our words will never be the same and I definitely don’t want to seem like anything, just don’t .. I’m actually kind of speechless because a lot of the comments are just a bunch of pink and fluffy clouds. When I sit here with them now. When I found them, I have a little doubt they’re meant for me? Everything seems so unreal and everything is going so fast now, there’s no breaks no nothing. And then I sit here thinking about, you, my lovely readers who have grown and will keep on going. Then again do I holding on on my dream tighter and tighter as I can see and almost touch. Here one that really touches down in the core:ComPliment

This gives me the push to go out there, throw myself after my dream instead of waiting on my turn. What if I’m in the foreverline because I done something bad, not very likely, but then again and I don’t think reality and dreams are a  mixture now. I slept away a day, doctors appointment and all, guessing it got something to do with Course at Modum. Its going to be different from how I spend my time. But its me, and since its all about to hit the fantastico of fulfilled and over the top with everything. It was finally karma catching up at last… SO I’m doing this for real, for the first time as long as I have been alive, have I never ask for a favour or a tip towards if there are places, ink on paper meant by my hands. Do someone out here know anyone who can help with, Its import to share and open up the world?? And I did also just now experiencing my piece missing, but it came back ..

roundabout

Like I have said, this is just me, my days and never forget the people inside, animals and the vibration of the earth! But at last I have found my book in norwegian, for someone, I don’t even remember what I was writing abou. But it came, But I haven’t done it yet, I know what to write in my book. I don’t know if it’s smart to say something at all, but hey you are my crowd, my audience that listen or read to all this is my life how it should be having projects and getting my fingers in the game. 

I’m so sorry for you who I haven’t answered personally, but suddenly it was 2-400! And to me this is much.. I’m just trying to see how it is and just for fun i googled my new title, Crazy Might Be Me, I was on the top here. I was hidden in the open, but I got myself dusted off now.

Thank to you, you amazingly and wonderful souls!

Love,

Any Bryde

Slottsfjellfestivalen


Summer is here in Noreg and that means festivals and traveling. This week we are leaving our junglecity be and head down south to Tønsberg for a week, for the Slottsfjellfestivalen. This is their 10th year, so it’s a jubilee and we are decorating one of the scenes. Getting our creative side on and letting the colors flow. Pictures will come.

My tooth is still the same, so I am not using my dentaltooth. I have decided that it is better for me and my teeth. I am looking forward to “smiling” to people… I had an serious break down the other day, it ended in tears. Of course it is better now, but still it is really not. I feel angry all the time, even though I am certain no one notice because I do not let people in.

I will use the decoration as a medicine for my soul!

AnyBryde