Losing A Roll


there has been almost two weeks here in seoul already. and i have never felt more home in a place than now. as i walk around thinking looking listening and feeling a spirit that is closer to mt heart than ever. i have met so many warmhearted humans and tied connections that do feel realer than before. i still lose myself to a place where i am too whimsical and sad inbetween my smiles. as i have walked so many miles i have seen a lot of different styles. but one thing is for sure in this city and that is that love concours all.

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this night as i went out to take pictures my money fell out of my purse. i backtracked but could not find my roll so i had to message my mom again. i feel bad because i only bring sad news and never a smile to someones face. i lost everything even tho i have things but here i feel that i have a place. i bow to the elders and see how the times has changed. but recognize places i have been sometimes before. i do not know when exactly to be honest and it could be a vivid dream i have dreamed before. as i see all of you on the streets laughing i wonder how is it possible. for thus holiday my soul has broken because of my dead souls. i cry and cry and wonder why my tears fall bu sadly i know i get to easily upset. as i take all these pictures i am thinking about my loved ones and wonder do you see the real me at all.

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sometimes i put my headphones on and walk with my music to do not think at all. but then again i miss your voices so i think maybe we should collab and stall. in this place where the sun shines and the moon rise above us we listen to the voices that surrounds us all. and these days i think about the man i lost over 13years ago. he died and we were suppose to get married but maybe the fate is to sometimes lose one love. so we can know how to love another and not to accept abuse at all. thus i know i have been abused bullied hitten and raped. even that there has been murder and broken ribs inside. i wish for someone to think and believe my words and voice as i have done for you all. i do not know what my future will look like but there is one thing i do know for sure. and that is that you people have to do something to help us humans or you will die ones more.

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look around you and see how the world is changing and open your minds to a society for us all. here in my motherland there are so many different humans that i can feel and see the exchange of loved souls. but i have to admit that i struggle within because the lack of living is somewhat real and open for us all. letting people getting away with murder and abuse should not be something we should see anymore. i have this summer lost unborn humans and now i will not take this anymore………

much love

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