Losing A Roll


there has been almost two weeks here in seoul already. and i have never felt more home in a place than now. as i walk around thinking looking listening and feeling a spirit that is closer to mt heart than ever. i have met so many warmhearted humans and tied connections that do feel realer than before. i still lose myself to a place where i am too whimsical and sad inbetween my smiles. as i have walked so many miles i have seen a lot of different styles. but one thing is for sure in this city and that is that love concours all.

IMG_20171004_003943_779

this night as i went out to take pictures my money fell out of my purse. i backtracked but could not find my roll so i had to message my mom again. i feel bad because i only bring sad news and never a smile to someones face. i lost everything even tho i have things but here i feel that i have a place. i bow to the elders and see how the times has changed. but recognize places i have been sometimes before. i do not know when exactly to be honest and it could be a vivid dream i have dreamed before. as i see all of you on the streets laughing i wonder how is it possible. for thus holiday my soul has broken because of my dead souls. i cry and cry and wonder why my tears fall bu sadly i know i get to easily upset. as i take all these pictures i am thinking about my loved ones and wonder do you see the real me at all.

20171001_140058

sometimes i put my headphones on and walk with my music to do not think at all. but then again i miss your voices so i think maybe we should collab and stall. in this place where the sun shines and the moon rise above us we listen to the voices that surrounds us all. and these days i think about the man i lost over 13years ago. he died and we were suppose to get married but maybe the fate is to sometimes lose one love. so we can know how to love another and not to accept abuse at all. thus i know i have been abused bullied hitten and raped. even that there has been murder and broken ribs inside. i wish for someone to think and believe my words and voice as i have done for you all. i do not know what my future will look like but there is one thing i do know for sure. and that is that you people have to do something to help us humans or you will die ones more.

IMG_20171004_000202_453.jpg

look around you and see how the world is changing and open your minds to a society for us all. here in my motherland there are so many different humans that i can feel and see the exchange of loved souls. but i have to admit that i struggle within because the lack of living is somewhat real and open for us all. letting people getting away with murder and abuse should not be something we should see anymore. i have this summer lost unborn humans and now i will not take this anymore………

much love

Advertisements

My heart and soul


I’m going back to the place I’m born.

Learning the language is the first steppingstone.

I open the books, the words unknown.

But I keep studying hard and going on.

I’m looking for you because my family is unknown.

I want to share how my life went on.

Now I’m ready and you should know.

I grew up in a home with love.

The life I could have and now I’m going home.

To the last place, I was before I was sent to the unknown.

I’m thankful for my life and my dearest parents I want you to know.

I will always love you with my heart and soul, waiting for you to call me home.

나의 심장, 나의 영혼으로

나는 내가 태어난 곳으로 돌아간다.

한국어 배움은 그 길로 가는 첫 번째 디딤돌이다.

책을 열지만, 알 수 없는 언어로 가득 차 있다.

나는 열심히 배울 것이고, 멈추지 않을 것이다.

나는 당신을, 알려지지 않은 나의 가족을 찾는다.

나의 지나간 삶에 대해 당신과 공유하길 원한다.

지금 나는 준비가 되어 있고, 당신이 알기를 원한다.

내가 사랑이 가득한 가정에서 자랐다는 것을

나는 지금 과거의 삶과 집으로 돌아간다.

내가 미지의 세계로 보내지기 전에 있었던 곳으로

감사로 가득한 나의 삶과 사랑하는 나의 부모님을 당신에게 보여주고 싶다.

나는 당신을 뜨거운 심장과 영혼을 다하여 사랑할 것이고, 여기서 당신의 전화를 기다릴 것이다.

It Is Not Me


Living life like it is not my own, loving you like you are the only one. Leaving the world behind for you where I was safe and sound, letting go of the unknown.

Learning slowly it is about you and not me, reading your face like the filter is gone. Opened a chapter I do not want to read. But I know it is the only way for me to get out of this  safe and sound.

The sounds are so familiar, volume up high. Like the doves in the sky, I feel small like a crow. Not being able to reach out for your soul.

The lake opens up and I go under the familiar situations are weighing me down. Silence keep us distance, what am I suppose to know? Leaving it all behind like a world unknown.

Feeling like a ghost in my own town, where I rule away I was someone but yet no one on my own. Wanting to end my breath, I know I can do this on my own.

But punishing myself is too low, just standing in the doorway watching alone. It is like a car crash, going bad and then I die because there is no escaping this on my own.

missing.jpg

Love,

Any Bryde

Will You Ever Understand


I want to be someone, like the people I see on the streets. But my life is not like that. I live with a broken mind, a mind with another reality.

I wish I was like you, like you, looking and feeling “normal”. Not being sick, sick from my own thoughts. Not having a mental state of mind.

But there is a life and it is unfair. The card has been dealt and I got all the bad ones. But I do not mean being out of control.

Still I smile, and you see me thinking like you. “Normal”, but I am a broken soul. My mind is reprogrammed, like another reality as a TV-show.

So I write and sing this song, maybe someone will understand. But I doubt that you do, this experience is not for us all. You have to go through it yourself. It is the beating heart of love that is keeping me going on.

IMG_8816

Love,

Any Bryde