Less Is Soul


again the place i had to grow up is thinking they can do whatever they want. to us who have nothing except for ourselves and have gone through a living hell. i know my life is not the worst one on earth and if the choice was presented i would only change a few things. i would change some of you ppl that have met me in real life. because you have not been my choice but criminal culprits. yes i have met you in a time in less control but to take advantage of someone who cannot say properly no. is on you not on me and i know this for sure. because my vengeance has grown strong. being human makes me hold back because doing something illegal is not a choice. but i will assure you if i could i would cut your heads clean off.

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thus these day i am happy and home the passport country is tourmenting my soul. so i telling you this i could not care less. than to let you abuse the power you suggest. remember now that i am suddenly back and will straight you up with tears in my eyes. the more i see of my seoul i grow founder and see how life is for other humans. around here there are ppl people humans and animals but somewhat i know someone also sees everything. walking around and see so little personalities but dressed facades to show a unraw self is sad but also understandable to me. because trust me i know how it is to look different.

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for years i have been told i am not enough and suddenly someone tells me i do too much. i do not understand the connection and chosen words but we are all right to have our own opinions. i respect and listen but do not tell me you know me. because sadly few of you ask me personal questions. not that i would answer from my time now because i always talk in the past. nevertheless am i a minority just because i am born in north korea. from where i wish to hope to find my birthplace because not knowing this will always keep me restless. i am at peace with what life has given me so far and hope you see what i do to stay alive. i met so many humans upon till now and only been her for 5weeks. surely i have not seen all of seoul but there is time and days to come to experience more. the season is changing everybody says winter is coming. but what is winter when i grew up in norway. i do not know how the winter is here but i love all seasons and seldom freeze. thus i also know i wish to travel around korea i take my time because i wish to walk this city.

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as for my eatingdisorders it probably look better than it is because i now eat every single day. but this is something outside my control because not letting myself selfharm is making it strong. but i will keep fighting both for me and my body hoping to someday feel a little more.

much love

 

Losing A Roll


there has been almost two weeks here in seoul already. and i have never felt more home in a place than now. as i walk around thinking looking listening and feeling a spirit that is closer to mt heart than ever. i have met so many warmhearted humans and tied connections that do feel realer than before. i still lose myself to a place where i am too whimsical and sad inbetween my smiles. as i have walked so many miles i have seen a lot of different styles. but one thing is for sure in this city and that is that love concours all.

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this night as i went out to take pictures my money fell out of my purse. i backtracked but could not find my roll so i had to message my mom again. i feel bad because i only bring sad news and never a smile to someones face. i lost everything even tho i have things but here i feel that i have a place. i bow to the elders and see how the times has changed. but recognize places i have been sometimes before. i do not know when exactly to be honest and it could be a vivid dream i have dreamed before. as i see all of you on the streets laughing i wonder how is it possible. for thus holiday my soul has broken because of my dead souls. i cry and cry and wonder why my tears fall bu sadly i know i get to easily upset. as i take all these pictures i am thinking about my loved ones and wonder do you see the real me at all.

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sometimes i put my headphones on and walk with my music to do not think at all. but then again i miss your voices so i think maybe we should collab and stall. in this place where the sun shines and the moon rise above us we listen to the voices that surrounds us all. and these days i think about the man i lost over 13years ago. he died and we were suppose to get married but maybe the fate is to sometimes lose one love. so we can know how to love another and not to accept abuse at all. thus i know i have been abused bullied hitten and raped. even that there has been murder and broken ribs inside. i wish for someone to think and believe my words and voice as i have done for you all. i do not know what my future will look like but there is one thing i do know for sure. and that is that you people have to do something to help us humans or you will die ones more.

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look around you and see how the world is changing and open your minds to a society for us all. here in my motherland there are so many different humans that i can feel and see the exchange of loved souls. but i have to admit that i struggle within because the lack of living is somewhat real and open for us all. letting people getting away with murder and abuse should not be something we should see anymore. i have this summer lost unborn humans and now i will not take this anymore………

much love