there comes a time in your life when you realize the truth about those who were suppose to be your so called “family. after all the abuse i have been through in the past and finding out i am pregnant i have been thinking about this a lot. because bringing my innocent baby into a world of people who pretend they love me is not what i want for my baby or myself anymore. the feeling and knowing that i am unwanted in the “family i was adopted to makes me want to kill both myself and a lot of other people. so honestly, to you fucked up ignorant selfish “i-live-a-perfect-life-people that think forgiveness is “pretending to care and love the people who let you down is the solution. you have never experienced real heartbreaks, deceive or anything close to loneliness in your life.
in my life i have recovered myself from every single situation and illnesses. even all the abuse and violence i have experienced, i have and still are recovering all by myself – all without any help or support from those who should have been here through the years! all the trauma in my life is unknow to almost everybody and you think you know the real reason why i cannot work. the truth about me not working is because of physical illnesses, chronic pain, abuse, terror and physical damages. and yes in the end all this makes you extremely depressed and exposed to diagnoses, but not a bad human. but you never really cared enough to even talk about it or ask me. so i have pretended since i was a child that i have been ok, happy and strong. but fighting through everything has made me strong but also lonely, and also exposed to even more abuse and violent people. knowing this is a circle i am fighting, i will now be able to see the bullshit in your eyes and actions.
in the society and world we live now there are so many people that do horrible things and get away by lying or paying someone to help them. it is sad to see that you still have not open your eyes to us who tell the truth and fight for justice. my childhood was not good at all. but i have had good memories with humans that i have spent time with that is not a part of my adopted family. honestly i also had good moments with some of you that was and still are in the adopted family, but this was before my aunt died. after that it felt like everything i believed in fell apart, except for having a grandma that never judged me and that i could talk with. i also had an uncle that i loved, but sadly now almost everyone whom i loved are dead. and honestly, the wrong humans died! i never felt that i have belonged in that home or so called “family. but i wanted to believe that you were good, seeing it now i think i have changed my mind. because to you everything seems to be about money and not love.
i have messages on my accounts where you write horrible things and i hope you read them in regret while you read this! because not supporting a family member, even though i have been bought and apparently not a human that was wanted, oh i have some messages linking to this too. i hope you all have a change of heart! i will honestly tell you all from the bottom of my soul that i wish i rather grew up here in korea, in an orphanage instead. but yes, i had things, nice things, when i grew up and at least i know some of those who was around me loved, but they are still not alive. and as for all the fake-ass-friends i have had through the years i hope you or someone close to you will experience real pain so you know what it is to be abused is about! but knowing you, you will probably pretend like nothing happened or never talk and admit it! because i know a few secrets about almost everyone i have met.
in march this year a boy who forced himself into my life and house who i regretfully let stay because i thought i could help. again this boy turned out to be a liar that jumped me in my own house and broke ribs on the right side of my chest. the police came i do not know how they where called or remember much from that day. thus a few days later i felt like i was going to die. like the air was leaving my lungs and went to the emergency room. i waited in a smellyroom where the pain in my chest and breathing was so painful and hard that i thought it was the end. after a little while the nurse came in and said ; “we have to take an xray to be sure your lung is not punctured.” i do not remember much except for the pain and that i was given paralginforte for it. went back to my apartment and do not think i did much the next days.
i told the nurse and the doctor his name and got a paper from her. but someone broke into my house and stole both documents clothes designerbags and designershoes. i have reported these ppl to the specialforces in norway and hope they will get their punishment, because this is also almost murder. this changed my whole persona in a way you would not understand. i thought i had experience some of the worst but being jumped and ending up with broken ribs is something that could have killed me. and again i hoped it would because it is easier to get ppl away for murder than for domestic violence and beating it seems like. being the victim does not seem to mean anything because you all feel sorry for the criminals culprits or yourselves. the last one i truly do not understand and will never be able to wrap my mind around that kind of mindset. i will never understand how you can protect fucked up ppl who only lie for a living. also one of his friends are amongst the reported. so i hope you all will take your lives or become drugaddicts if you have not fallen down that road yet. i wish someone will put you on heroin and rape you repeatedly for the rest of your lives in eternity!
there is also this violent boy that jumped me in my apartment last summer with a scissor and glassbottles that time the police also came but i do not know who called them. he was reported then and i got a restraining order against him. thus we had a person i n common i told this person the truth. but of course this summer they broke the law so i again reported the violent boy for the 2time in under a year. there is also an earlier abuser who i also have an restraining order against that showed up in my neighbourhood so i of course reported him too. he abused me for a year both physical and psychological both in norway and abroad. i do not know how some of the police in norway work but i know that some of you are violent corrupted and criminals.
so because of all this violence being strangled and loosing unborns i have not been myself at all this summer. but as if this was not enough the company i rented my apartment from went through with an illegal eviction. where they apparently said they have contacted me but did not. they also had a hearing that i did not get information about. saying i have done things i emailed them about. the only thing i have done is playing loud music during daytime. and i know for a fact that that is nor illegal or against the law anywhere. but on top of this at the places where one should feel safe i was jumped by a nightworker because of me walking in my sleep! so if you want to talk about culprits criminals and victims choose one side and see who you should protect!
help us victims to stand up for ourselves and our lives so we can live in peace 💞 #PutTheseViolentPeopleAwayForeverNow ; emotional physical stalking brokenribs whiplash strangled murder breakins and sexual abused by these people ; #Norge #EirikKvisli #KavehNikouee #Wanja #Alexander #AlexanderHøva #RobertFjeldstad #JohnChristianHeive #MathiasGjerdrumOlsen #GryFaiaHjelle #OsloPolitimenn #Nav #NattevaktPåVinderenAkuttmottak #GothianmNorge #SecuritasNorge #DiakonhjemmetsmSykehusOslo #LegevaktaOslo #FolkFraTønsbergOmegnOgEik #LegevaktaTønsberg #Psykologer #FolksomBorIOslo #Kerkantilbygg #CecilieGjøstøl #KanskjeDesign #AnnieThoraBerdahl #GimleParfymeriBygdøyAlle39 #BygdøyAlle39Oslo0265 #LarsWold #IngarNilsensVei1b0268Oslo
i have reported almost all of these ppl to the authorities but had to move myself from norway because of no security !
Aitreuya YooHwai LilandBryde Kim
this summer i ended up in a new box again. homeless is probably the best way to describe it. i do not know how i feel am i sad or sorry. but somehow i am also happy inside me. the burden of a home where people break in and torture me to an almost death is over thank god. so now i am kind of an incognito and new with a vision and a mindset that are truly set free. for those who have blamed me and yelled at me for years i hope you are ashamed and that you will be saddened for ever. i know it might be harsh but my exterior has changed and i have this wish of never being born.
i do not know what i have done wrong nor will i ever know why you are so fucked up. this place where i have lived for so many years are now a place i hate and feel misplaced. the longing for happiness humans animals and life is stronger now that the world shows itself. i know my dreams are big but why not am i always thinking. these streets i have walked are not meant for the living. this is a city where everybody comes to die and certain you will all vanish someday. i see shadows of people from a terrorattack as well for the ones who believe they are something.
is it wrong to be honest and write about life when we all experience loss grief sorrows and death. is this not a place to be us as humans should be. are we not the same under our skin. where would we be if it were not for our ancestors. would we be where we are if it were not for slavery. who are we not to be thankful for life when all some of you do is party and fuck around. i am ashamed for the ones who i have had in my life but now i know that as a victim i have let myself been abused to many times. so i put my foot down and said stop ones again and turned myself around to see the world with new eyes. i wish some of you souls still would be alive next to me but i am humble amd thankful for you being around me. so now i am going to an old new place called seoul hoping for answer and maybe meeting loved ones. i do not know if i am the last in my bloodline but in my papers it says i am the orphan. in hanyang district i have some roots and i hope there are some humans who will see me through. in a heart and a soul i never begged for anything but this time i want someone to just listen to me.
being completely alone and lonely is somewhat natural but also and enlightening. i can distance myself to ignorance and stupidity and see some of you for what and who you really are and supposed to be. this life now for over 36 somewhat years is also something to be thankful for. but in reality i think of the darkness and where my path has been i have grown so much. my burden in life is being alive but now it is time to live for ones.