To Be A Gentle Soul


Suddenly the snow is gone and we can finally see the grass again. The temperature is on the plus side and the sun is smiling down on us once more again. Spring has set her foot here in Norway. This country is not where i want to be, but for now it is home and soon a smaller version of me will appear. A baby spending all her time in a small sack inside my belly is growing strong. Her little kicks, pushes and hiccups takes most of my time now and for the rest of my life will be number one.

I am hoping you will be a precious one, filled with love and a heart of gold. Not afraid of what the world has to show you, but intelligent enough to know that your soul belongs to the universe and that we are our own. I hope you will have open eyes and ears, so no one can do harm to your soul. But wise enough to be a gentle soul and see through all the bullshit and lies when it is shown. Smiling, laughing, crying, feeling every single drop of our blood. You will be a strong one, with a voice of your own. As you will light up the summer with your eyes, I know your soul will be warm. Finding your way through this life might not be easy, but i promise you you will never be alone.

As for the wind there will be storms, but I will always support your goals. So when the time comes and you will be born you will be known. As the one I have always waited for, my first born, a child unknown. Together we are our own little tree, but in our past there are many more. Here we also have branches that reaches out to us, but with another root in the soil. So when you are sad look in my eyes and I will comfort your soul.

엄마

 

Wake Up Call


there comes a time in your life when you realize the truth about those who were suppose to be your so called “family. after all the abuse i have been through in the past and finding out i am pregnant i have been thinking about this a lot. because bringing my innocent baby into a world of people who pretend they love me is not what i want for my baby or myself anymore. the feeling and knowing that i am unwanted in the “family i was adopted to makes me want to kill both myself and a lot of other people. so honestly, to you fucked up ignorant selfish “i-live-a-perfect-life-people that think forgiveness is “pretending to care and love the people who let you down is the solution. you have never experienced real heartbreaks, deceive or anything close to loneliness in your life.

in my life i have recovered myself from every single situation and illnesses. even all the abuse and violence i have experienced, i have and still are recovering all by myself – all without any help or support from those who should have been here through the years! all the trauma in my life is unknow to almost everybody and you think you know the real reason why i cannot work. the truth about me not working is because of physical illnesses, chronic pain, abuse, terror and physical damages. and yes in the end all this makes you extremely depressed and exposed to diagnoses, but not a bad human. but you never really cared enough to even talk about it or ask me. so i have pretended since i was a child that i have been ok, happy and strong. but fighting through everything has made me strong but also lonely, and also exposed to even more abuse and violent people. knowing this is a circle i am fighting, i will now be able to see the bullshit in your eyes and actions.

in the society and world we live now there are so many people that do horrible things and get away by lying or paying someone to help them. it is sad to see that you still have not open your eyes to us who tell the truth and fight for justice. my childhood was not good at all. but i have had good memories with humans that i have spent time with that is not a part of my adopted family. honestly i also had good moments with some of you that was and still are in the adopted family, but this was before my aunt died. after that it felt like everything i believed in fell apart, except for having a grandma that never judged me and that i could talk with. i also had an uncle that i loved, but sadly now almost everyone whom i loved are dead. and honestly, the wrong humans died! i never felt that i have belonged in that home or so called “family. but i wanted to believe that you were good, seeing it now i think i have changed my mind. because to you everything seems to be about money and not love.

i have messages on my accounts where you write horrible things and i hope you read them in regret while you read this! because not supporting a family member, even though i have been bought and apparently not a human that was wanted, oh i have some messages linking to this too. i hope you all have a change of heart! i will honestly tell you all from the bottom of my soul that i wish i rather grew up here in korea, in an orphanage instead. but yes, i had things, nice things, when i grew up and at least i know some of those who was around me loved, but they are still not alive. and as for all the fake-ass-friends i have had through the years i hope you or someone close to you will experience real pain so you know what it is to be abused is about! but knowing you, you will probably pretend like nothing happened or never talk and admit it! because i know a few secrets about almost everyone i have met.

 

 

Culprits


september is finally here and i do feel more calm than the previous months. this year has been hell for as well as the past. but why complain when i can tell you all in words about how it is to live and be abused in what these people call the “best country in the world.

i am bought to norway without my concent and would change this life for everything else. but now that i am over 35 years i am blessed to be breathing and seeing the sun. i will not say it has all been bad but mainly i have been abused. by almost everybody in my life but i have deleted them now or as they say “blocked you in facebook. after years with emotional abuse from some of the people. i have cut them out like garbage and cigarettes. to me they have never meant nothing at all because all they do is lie cheat use violence and drink. the words that they use are mainly negative and they spread rumors and lies about almost everybody. i have never wished for them so the loss is not big. but of course i am broken because i have been there for them. but my pride is stronger than these fake people style so it so easy to just say goodbye.

i have been blamed by the girl and she has said to my mom “it is her fault i have no friends had to go to a psycholog and all that. mom you have to pay! the boy is a racist and violent or they both actually are. but some years ago he was kinder than now. these people seem ignonrant and unintelligent to me because all they do is copy cut and paste. thus i really do not know because all their socialmedia is secret. so their life is probably fake with the lies inbetween. as expected of course some people believe in lies and i do not have any energy to tell them otherwise.

this situation and abuse i have been through is hard because again i have been exposed to violence and harm. i wish for a capitol punhisment for these crimes and for the criminals to pay their way in life. in this country the rapers run freely in the streets. where they have goals to fuck at least a new girl every day. i do not know how a person can go through with this. but when i look back at the raper i only see stupidity in his eyes. thinking you are something when you are so ugly and violent is somewhat a laughing stock for the real market! and these people of course are in a group but not a popular one just a messenger thing. i think they have a deal where they drug girls and take them home because everything i have been through since i met them is in shadows. of course the other one broke my ribs and made some friends delete the police report from the prison they work in. i know cause they called me on a number unknown from a prison in oslo norway and i have met them once. i do not remember the names but i know the culprit and his fucked up family so to tell you all karma will hit you!

for the last one he is an fake and someone i dated he has used and abused me as well. the last he did after he got me pregnant was strungle me 3 times in a row. i lost my breath and almost died my neck and throat got crushed and the voice dissapeard. and i lost the unborn beacuse of all of this violence so now i am done with you sociopathic unempathic dumb people. this country is filled with so much criminality and fake news that even the politician parties are in on it! as for the terrorattack here in oslo they all might have a connection because these actions against me remind me of death and blackness. the others that think they have gotten a pass should look back and know that you are breaking all the laws. getting friends to come up to me is not smart when you have restrittiva and not doing your job policeofficer it is bad i have to say. but i know you know so i will see what happens next.

much love

Verdens Hoelet


det er noe med dette landet som absoslutt ikke stemmer overens med hva dere nordmenn tenker om dere selv. for eksempel at dere har satt dere som “nummer 1 i verden! i en verden hvor det finnes saa mange andre land som er saa mye bedre aa leve og aa vaere i enn detta landet. dette landet har faktisk kun fjellnatur igjen aa skryte av utenom fjordene da. men hvilke land har ikke fjell og fjorder?

dette er verdens dyreste land selv for dere norske som tro dere er rike. men hva gjoer dere egentlig? jo dere oedelegger jorda havet naturen menneskene ved aa late som dere er intelligente. ved aa utgi dere for aa vaere medmenneskelig og ved aa voldta og baksnakke alle dere moeter. dere synes det er skummelt med utlendinger og folk som snakker et annet spraak enn norsk. men hvor mange er det ikke som forstaar dette simple spraaket men ikke toer aa uttale et norsk ord fordi de er redde for negative bemerkninger tror dere? er det slik at dere tror dere er perfekte fordi dere er fyrtaarn? hva i helvete er det dere egentlig gjoer med livene deres? ikke en dritt skal jeg si dere! mange av dere har jobber som tilsier at dere burde vaere baade utdannet og proffesjonelle. men aerlig skal jeg si dere at jeg har moett saa mange analfabete innbisile uintelligente folk paa min vei at det halve kunne lenge vaert nok! dere har trynetillegg og betaler for karakterer som er ubrukelig. dere stjeler verdisaker av oss som har brukt tid og penger paa aa finne unike ting. dere sprer sykdommer rykter og dop som om det skulle vaert livets vann. men i enden hvem bryr seg? jo egentlig bryr alle seg paa hver sin maate fordi dette gaar utover flere enn dere aner. for detta gaar utover de neste generasjonene i verden! for nesa deres er hverken nilfisk eller noe aa skryte av. nei for den er jo full av kokain heroin fentanyl og amfetamin! jaja selvfoelgelig er det greit aa ljuge og tro en er bedre enn andre. det er jo bortkasta tid aa leve redelige og aerlige liv er det ikke? la meg se hvor mange av dere som egentlig er kriminelle med prikker og voldsstraffer paa dere!

vil si at dere alle hoerer hjemme paa samme sted og det er faktisk i soepla med resten av dritten som raatner og forsvinner! slik dere gjoer mot jordkloden og oss mennesker som er ute etter fred og samhold! jeg skulle oenske dere kunne faa aapna opp dissa lukka hjerneflappene deres og banka inn litt ekte vett og ren informasjon som henger paa greip med 2017 og resten av verden! tror dere virkelig detta la det er det beste landet? ingen vil jo egentlig vaere her ; eneste grunnen er kontantstoetten og at det er enkelt for mange aas nylte paa staten!

for aa stille opp aa gjoere noe for oss som virkelig sliter og blir mishandla er dere jo for evneveike til aa klare aa gjoere nesten alle sammen! saa da er det vel et par ord til ettertanke da eller det enda en unnskyldning for aa drikke ruse seg feste eller bruke kredittkort og dop?

much love