i have found some humans that i have a life in common with. these humans are all korean adoptees that have come back to korea to speak up for themselves. as i have done this for years now online i am humbled content and somewhat sad in my soul. but the sadness is because the stories are close as i have seen and heard from their souls. these koreans were all sent overseas to families where life was unknown. some of their stories i do not know but from those i have talked to i have heard somewhat the same. they are talented humans with creative souls and have studied and worked and come back home. honestly i do not know everything but i will hopefully get the chance to talk to them more. because they are arranging events for us who are adopted and live in seoul for the time being. so now i will have my dna tested and you never know there might show up someone who is related to my soul.
because for me being adopted is very much complicated heartbreaking and close to home. thus i do not carry any resentment to my 엄마 or 아빠 i do still have questions. but know that i might have to live with these unanswered questions for the rest of my life. i am going to holt the organization i was adopted through to see if they have some information i have not seen. but as i have read the papers i have myself it says that there is no information and i know i am an abandoned child. these feelings i have is mixed and mostly sad. but i am still happy now for being alive. even though this feeling sometimes turns into the darkness where i rather wished i died when i ended up in a coma. because of 2years ago i went through ecoli septicshock organfailure poisoning and bloodtransfusion. after that they put me on opiates and those are the pills that can turn you into a drugaddict. so as i again was abused by a person i dated after i came out from the hospital. i chose then to try to commit suicide by swallowing a mixture of nobliganretard150mg×30ca valium5mg×15ca mogadon5mg×20ca and drank almost a whole bottle of vodka. but then called the ambulance myself because somewhere inside me i probably got scared. i do not remember anything from this episode except for asking if they were going to pump my stomach when i arrived at the hospital. the next thing i remember is waking up asking for food about 2days later and then i went to meet my mom feeling calm and changed with a new perspective. knowing now i actually sometimes regret getting scared and not dying. but i also know that my tolerance is extremely high and that i probably would have died if i were someone else. it is a peculiar situation because i am still being torn between life and death. knowing that the life in norway somewhat haunts me because there are so many horrible memories. then again i know inbetween i have experienced happiness but being abused fucks with your brain to an extend where the only thing we can do is to fix ourselves.
so after using this medicine for about 1.5year i felt my body being physically addicted and quit cold turkey because ending up as a drugaddict is an absolute no go in my mind. so now i live with chronic pain instead and waiting for the possibility to get medical marijuana. but i know in the end my body might fail but i also know that my soul is stronger than anything i can imagine. so as i keep moving forward i just go on and sometimes i look back and regret some actions but hey this is life and i have to walk in my own skin anyway. so there really is nothing to change from the past and rather try to change my exterior and not trust so many souls on my path. because again i will tell you that some of you have let me down because you never asked or talked to my soul ones. my introverted extroverted side maybe fooled you believing you knew me at all. but in the end you see with closed eyes and what you think i am is not the perception of me and is not correct at all. thus some of you talked to me i have never given you close to all my answers. because not asking the right questions and getting to know the real me will take decades for you all.
i have been judged by my appearance hair body and clothes but seemingly this has nothing to do with my real personalities at all. but maybe you who read my thoughts get a picture but honestly i do not think you will understand anything about me at all. but then again i am hopefully wrong and some of you will walk into my life and stay and see my soul.
in march this year a boy who forced himself into my life and house who i regretfully let stay because i thought i could help. again this boy turned out to be a liar that jumped me in my own house and broke ribs on the right side of my chest. the police came i do not know how they where called or remember much from that day. thus a few days later i felt like i was going to die. like the air was leaving my lungs and went to the emergency room. i waited in a smellyroom where the pain in my chest and breathing was so painful and hard that i thought it was the end. after a little while the nurse came in and said ; “we have to take an xray to be sure your lung is not punctured.” i do not remember much except for the pain and that i was given paralginforte for it. went back to my apartment and do not think i did much the next days.
i told the nurse and the doctor his name and got a paper from her. but someone broke into my house and stole both documents clothes designerbags and designershoes. i have reported these ppl to the specialforces in norway and hope they will get their punishment, because this is also almost murder. this changed my whole persona in a way you would not understand. i thought i had experience some of the worst but being jumped and ending up with broken ribs is something that could have killed me. and again i hoped it would because it is easier to get ppl away for murder than for domestic violence and beating it seems like. being the victim does not seem to mean anything because you all feel sorry for the criminals culprits or yourselves. the last one i truly do not understand and will never be able to wrap my mind around that kind of mindset. i will never understand how you can protect fucked up ppl who only lie for a living. also one of his friends are amongst the reported. so i hope you all will take your lives or become drugaddicts if you have not fallen down that road yet. i wish someone will put you on heroin and rape you repeatedly for the rest of your lives in eternity!
there is also this violent boy that jumped me in my apartment last summer with a scissor and glassbottles that time the police also came but i do not know who called them. he was reported then and i got a restraining order against him. thus we had a person i n common i told this person the truth. but of course this summer they broke the law so i again reported the violent boy for the 2time in under a year. there is also an earlier abuser who i also have an restraining order against that showed up in my neighbourhood so i of course reported him too. he abused me for a year both physical and psychological both in norway and abroad. i do not know how some of the police in norway work but i know that some of you are violent corrupted and criminals.
so because of all this violence being strangled and loosing unborns i have not been myself at all this summer. but as if this was not enough the company i rented my apartment from went through with an illegal eviction. where they apparently said they have contacted me but did not. they also had a hearing that i did not get information about. saying i have done things i emailed them about. the only thing i have done is playing loud music during daytime. and i know for a fact that that is nor illegal or against the law anywhere. but on top of this at the places where one should feel safe i was jumped by a nightworker because of me walking in my sleep! so if you want to talk about culprits criminals and victims choose one side and see who you should protect!
help us victims to stand up for ourselves and our lives so we can live in peace 💞 #PutTheseViolentPeopleAwayForeverNow ; emotional physical stalking brokenribs whiplash strangled murder breakins and sexual abused by these people ; #Norge #EirikKvisli #KavehNikouee #Wanja #Alexander #AlexanderHøva #RobertFjeldstad #JohnChristianHeive #MathiasGjerdrumOlsen #GryFaiaHjelle #OsloPolitimenn #Nav #NattevaktPåVinderenAkuttmottak #GothianmNorge #SecuritasNorge #DiakonhjemmetsmSykehusOslo #LegevaktaOslo #FolkFraTønsbergOmegnOgEik #LegevaktaTønsberg #Psykologer #FolksomBorIOslo #Kerkantilbygg #CecilieGjøstøl #KanskjeDesign #AnnieThoraBerdahl #GimleParfymeriBygdøyAlle39 #BygdøyAlle39Oslo0265 #LarsWold #IngarNilsensVei1b0268Oslo
i have reported almost all of these ppl to the authorities but had to move myself from norway because of no security !
Aitreuya YooHwai LilandBryde Kim
i took a time out and went on a roadtrip here in norway just before my soul trip to my motherland. i got back yesterday to this city where everything is somewhat not how it suppose to be. my heart and soul is somewhere else and i wish there were a place to rest my head. these years in the cold north of europe has not been easy but i have lived and tried to be me. in the end i can now see that my personality brain body and me are not compatible with the rest of you because you are not how you are suppose to be. this society is ruled by corruption and if we are to be honest there are no real assumptions.
as i got older i grew and got stronger but still i meet the unknown in a way where i am contemplating life to a point where this is all a lie. the science of life is no longer humanity but nowadays it is all about the money. looking searching reading online is a scam a scene unclear for our minds. i wonder how you all suddenly got rich and where you all really are living. looking back i knew this world has had faults but hoping we are the generations to correct them all. but now i see what controlls some of you and that is the darkness the black money marked. a bank is a front like the glass window that shines. behind there is someone just watching us from behind. we never look back but sadly we should and see how we all go in the circle of life.
a new day will rise they say from the top. but is this reality or just an atombomb. all these natural catastrophes and murders are theree really innocent people among us. who should be imprisoned for life are those the ones who killed our loved ones. where are your hearts did you lose them to greediness or are you all on mastcard neediness. i see a lot of young ones these days. looking and searching for hookups and play. why are you not concerned about the future and why are not caring for the humans. on planetearth there are so much to be thankful for but lately you all been destroying the rest of us. is it so that you think you are superior or do you believe that no one sees you.
everywhere i go and places i see i can feel the shadows lurking next to me. knowing you all take advantage of humans is hurting us all but how are we going to live with nothing. are we back to a slavery era where the white man again pretend to be the good one. i do not know why you do not want to work as for paying for education is a solution to someone. with world to seem closer as never before we all fly around and pretend not to care. but sitting alone i know we all think about problems issues deaths and humanity. as for the animals i hope we let them be and remember to feed them because you are poisoning us all with them. i am not sure how we should live our lives but i know this we should respect all living creatures.